Four Tips to Manage Urges: Controlling Impulses That Don’t Support Your Well-Being
Struggling with impulse control is a common challenge that many people face, especially when difficult emotions feel overwhelming. As a Houston therapist who works with clients managing urges and unhealthy coping patterns, I understand how powerful these impulses can be—and how much they can interfere with your mental health and long-term well-being.
Often, urges arise because we want to escape or numb unpleasant feelings. For example, loneliness can prompt reactive behaviors like reaching out to a toxic ex-partner. While these actions may bring temporary relief, they rarely support lasting emotional health or your goals.
Unhealthy behaviors work in the short term because they provide immediate relief, but they don’t solve the underlying emotional discomfort. As a mental health therapist in Houston, I recommend these four strategies to help you manage urges and gain more control over impulses that don’t serve you.
1. Urge Surfing: Mindfulness for Impulse Control
Urge surfing is a mindfulness technique that allows you to observe urges without acting on them. Imagine an itch that you resist scratching—you acknowledge it, notice its intensity, and wait for it to pass. Urges and cravings work the same way.
Practicing urge surfing trains your brain to tolerate discomfort and recognize that urges are temporary. By sitting with the urge instead of reacting, you can process the emotions driving it and reduce the power they hold.
Many clients I work with as a therapist find that urge surfing reduces impulsive behavior, especially when paired with guided meditations you can find online.
2. Self-Soothing: Compassionate Care for Your Emotions
Learning to self-soothe is a key skill in managing impulses. It means responding to your emotional needs with kindness, not avoidance. Self-soothing doesn’t erase feelings, but it often decreases their intensity.
Some effective self-soothing activities include:
Journaling
Listening to calming music
Taking walks in nature
Calling a supportive friend
Meditation or deep breathing
Warm baths or showers
Cooking a comforting meal
Lighting a candle and reflecting on positive memories
Having a toolbox of at least five self-soothing techniques can make a big difference when urges strike.
3. Healthy Distraction: Redirecting Your Focus Mindfully
Distraction can be helpful when used intentionally and moderately. Healthy distraction means shifting your attention to activities that uplift or engage you, rather than avoid unpleasant emotions entirely.
This might include:
Watching a favorite movie or reading an inspiring book
Socializing with a trusted friend
Changing your environment (like going outside)
Practicing “opposite action”—doing the opposite of what your urge suggests to change your mood or mindset
For many clients I support as a Houston online therapist, opposite action is especially helpful in breaking negative impulse cycles.
4. Play the Tape Forward: Imagine Consequences Before Acting
When you feel an urge, take a moment to “play the tape forward.” Imagine what will happen if you give in to the impulse. Yes, there may be short-term relief—but what about tomorrow, next week, or next year?
Ask yourself:
Will this action bring regret?
Will it reinforce a harmful pattern?
Will it move me closer to the life I want?
Writing down the pros and cons can clarify whether the urge is truly worth following. This exercise often makes unhealthy behaviors seem less attractive when you reflect on potential consequences.
Final Thoughts From a Therapist
Breaking free from unhealthy impulses and urges can be tough, especially when they temporarily soothe difficult feelings. But staying stuck in harmful cycles is even harder and prevents you from living your fullest life.
If you’ve tried these strategies and still find it difficult to manage impulses, therapy can provide essential support. As a therapist offering online therapy across Texas, I specialize in helping clients build skills to control urges and develop healthier coping habits.
👉 Book your free 15-minute consultation today and take the first step toward lasting change.
